• Last Sunday the kids created a bedroom in the bathroom. With a sofa, lamps, a bed (in the bath) and all of their trinkets and toys arranged like a live/laugh/love show home. It was remarkably tidy. We employed them as “Removal people” and made up a real removal box for them to move back into their room.
• Got to her swimming lesson and the middle kid was wearing two pairs of underpants. How do you end up wearing two pairs of pants?
• The same middle one got an ear infection so we were up most of one night with lots of dramatic screaming and writhing around in pain. After some miraculous Bluey episodes, plenty of Calpol and some frozen fruits pressed on her ear, she slept next to me on the sofa. Her curled comfortably, me pushed right to the edge, gripping tightly like Alex Honnold on Tapei 101.
• The work on the house has started and this is lifting the mood in our little flat. Although we’ve now found, to our fault, that we didn’t employ a middle-person to deal with the differences between the architects drawings and the actual house. So we’re the middle people. Incredibly unqualified middle people.
• Lizzy drew the short straw and took the tiniest kid home while I got to watch My Neighbour Totoro in the west end with the kids and their cousins. Lazing about eating Peanut M&M’s and watching the kids roaring with laughter at the 30ft Totoro on stage.
• “Are you one-hundred percent certain you don’t need a wee?” “Yes, I’m a hundred and seventy percertain”